Parenting is a full time job and it seems to work better if we are calm and patient with our kids. Being able to communicate to our children in a calm and patient manner means that we can listen to their problems and address them in a way that would benefit both the parent and the child. But is it really that easy? No. At times, it is not easy at all. For most of us, it is a new skill to learn. Here are some of the tips that can help you in becoming a more calm and patient parent.
Communicate effectively
You need to communicate with your kid in the most effective manner as you can. Try and start by being a good listener. Listen to whatever your kids tell you without interrupting them. Listening to their ideas and views will let you develop an understanding of their wants and needs. Try and understand what the underlying concern is. Once you listen to their ideas, you will be able to address their underlying concern and better communicate your point to them. Moreover, you will be able to relate to them more through this technique. Your child will also learn to develop communication skills such as expressing their wants and needs.
See it from their perspective
Following from the above point, when you listen to their ideas, you may be able to see the issue from their perspective. They are still developing and learning to think logically and control their emotions. As parents, it is important to help them develop their ability to express their emotions in a positive way and also communicate their wants and needs. Their explanation may be based on emotions but we can use this as a teaching opportunity to help them develop their emotional regulation skills.
Deal with the hunger
If you are hungry, you are more likely to get angry. There’s already a new term for it: hangry (angry when hungry). So, try to keep your stomach full. When there is limited time in between school runs, chores, and daily tasks, snacks can be very effective. Such snacks will give you enough energy to deal with the chaos that your children have been making around. So, there is less chance that you’ll get frustrated over smaller things.
Ask for help
In some situation, handling things alone is the reason of your unhappiness. In such situations asking for help can be one of the ways through which you can keep yourself calm while parenting. You can either get help from your spouse, friend, family member or any other person whom you trust. It is not just asking for help to look after your child, but it could be for other things that frustrates you and takes up your time. Solving other matters in your life can relieve you from excessive stress, thus ensuring your patience when dealing with your children.
Have some alone time
Parenting is quite hectic and it can often make you frustrated. So, when you are frustrated or stressed, bursting your anger on kids is natural because of our shorter fuse. This is why, you should have some alone time in the day. Even if it is just 10 minutes. But make sure to have such a time where you can do something you enjoy. This could be reading a book, going for a walk or even having a shower, alone. It will definitely help you relax and you’ll be able to have a better control on your anger.
Use positive thinking
Learn to use positive thinking or self-talk to help you through the day. It can be hard to practice this skill when we are feeling frustrated, therefore it is important to practice it throughout the whole day. Positive self-talk can include: “I can do this”, “I am a great parent”, “I am doing the best I can for my kids”, or “I care for my kids”. When you regularly think (or even say aloud) these thoughts, it may put you in a better mood.
These are some tips that you can follow to keep yourself calm. Although such activities do not guarantee your calmness, but practising it over time can help you in mastering this new skill. Moreover, parenting is stressful and sometimes we just become angry and frustrated. Don’t be so hard on yourself! Remember, looking after yourself is as important (if not, even more important) as looking after your children.